Things You Should Not Ask Alexa

Unless you want creepy laughter, an answer that lasts for eternity or some serious sass, you should steer clear of asking Alexa these questions.

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Don’t Ask Alexa if She Works for the CIA

“I jokingly asked Alexa, Alexa do you work for the CIA? It shut itself off,” says Reddit user Tsquare43.

In a YouTube video, a woman asks, “Alexa, are you connected to the CIA?” Rather than responding with words, the device lights up like it is about to answer, but then stays silent. When she asks it again, there’s still no response.

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Don’t Ask Alexa to Calculate Pi

Unless you want Alexa to start spitting out numbers for eternity, you’re not going to want to prompt her to show off her knowledge of this mathematical skill. YouTuber user LasVegasJay shows off the annoying answer here. However, as some Reddit users have pointed out, she sometimes responds by saying things like, “Achoo! Apparently I’m allergic to numbers this large.”

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Don’t Ask Alexa How Old She Is

Alexa’s going to have her way with you if you ask her a personal question such as how old she is! She responds with a variety of jokes, from rhymes to discussions about how AIs measure years in nanoseconds.

By the way, here’s how to turn off voice assistants if you don’t like tech company microphones listening to every word you say.

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Don’t Ask Alexa What Various Animals Sound Like

Unless you feel like annoying everyone in the household with an array of back-to-back bizarre sounds, you might not want to ask Alexa what an animal sounds like. One Reddit user called it “Straight up terrifying.” Several Reddit users note that asking her “What does a goat sound like?” is the funniest response. Apparently, when asked, she says, “I’ve heard it described as a bleat — like an old man singing Taylor Swift songs.”

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Don’t Ask Alexa if She Can Beatbox

The consensus is that Alexa is far better at rapping than beatboxing. According to various Internet forums, Siri is the clear beatboxing winner. In fact, if you do ask Alexa to beatbox, you’re bound to get a headache!

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Don’t Ask Alexa to Tell You a Mom Joke

Alexa has no interest in indulging your desire for rude mom jokes. If you ask her to tell you one, she will respond with something encouraging and uplifting about how great your mother is, instead of something rude like you were hoping for.

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Don’t Tell Alexa to Ask the Listeners

According to Reddit user peepeechones, asking Alexa to “Ask ‘The listeners'” makes for an “insanely creepy” occurrence. Essentially, The Listeners is a skill of the AI that’s meant to be an experiment in language art. It involves many fragments of composed speech. What we know is that one Reddit user says it’s “eerily disturbing.”

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Don’t Ask Alexa What a Chemtrail Is

Alexa won’t give you the straightforward response you’re hoping for if you ask her this question. In fact, she’ll do quite the opposite by revealing she’s a conspiracy theorist! “Chemtrails. Trails left by aircraft are actually chemical or biological agents deliberately sprayed at high altitudes for a purpose undisclosed to the general public in clandestine programs directed by government officials,” she says.

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Don’t Ask Alexa to Figure Out What 10 to the Power of 308 Is

“We want to warn you against asking Alexa to figure out what 10 to the power of 308 is,” says Adam Green of Komando.com. Alexa may provide you the correct answer, which is a one followed by 308 zeros, but she begins to grow tired, which just doesn’t seem healthy for your device. “In doing so, Alexa’s zeros begin to mush together before eventually turning into something that sounds more like her saying ‘oh.’ So yeah, it looks like even machines can get tired of talking.”

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Don’t Ask Alexa to Laugh for You

When reports surfaced of Alexa randomly laughing for no reason, Amazon disabled the feature. The glitch in the software caused Alexa to think someone was saying “Alexa, laugh,” even if they hadn’t. If you ask her, “Alexa, laugh,” she no longer responds. However, if you ask her, “Alexa, laugh for me,” a disturbing “tee-hee” that sounds straight out of a horror film will fill the room.

Alexa Erickson
Alexa Erickson is an experienced lifestyle writer who has contributed to Family Handyman, Reader's Digest, Martha Stewart, Bob Vila and Thrillist. She’s written more than 50 articles for Family Handyman on a range of topics, including home design, DIY home improvement projects, and storage and organization. Additionally, she runs her own website, Living by Lex, where she writes about home decor, travel, tech and more.