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Santa Won’t Be Visiting These Homes: Home Inspector Nightmares Holiday Edition

Family HandymanUpdated: Mar. 20, 2019

Santa's got a big job, and these homeowners made it a heck of a lot tougher.

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Santa lost his boot

Santa lost his boot

Courtesy of Structure Tech

No, this isn't a trash can. I think a good chimney cleaning is in order.

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Pillars of the earth

Pillars of the earth

Lots of bad bricks here that a little tuckpointing may have prevented. At least it matches the rest of the chimney. Photo: Courtesy of Structure Tech

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Liberty Bell

Liberty Bell

It's cracked like the Liberty Bell. But this cracked chimney liner needs to be repaired to prevent a chimney fire.

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Brick Work Gone Bad

Brick Work Gone Bad

Some repairs are so neat and well executed that you barely even notice them. Not this one, though. Photo: Courtesy of Structure Tech

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Boy-O-Boy!

Boy-O-Boy!

Not only is this chimney badly deteriorated, it's almost completely missing any clay or metal liner. This is the poster child for why you should have your chimney inspected. Photo: Courtesy of Structure Tech

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What's wrong?

What's wrong?

Let thee count the ways ... Broken chimney cap, missing mortar and bricks, all that's gonna cause a few leaks. This chimney needs some major repairs. Photo: Courtesy of Structure Tech

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Toboggan ice-dam solution

Toboggan ice-dam solution

Granted, this is quite a clever setup. But it seems like it might be less work to fix the ice-dam problem!

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Walking in the winter wonderland

Walking in the winter wonderland

Courtesy of Structure Tech

If only the squirrels living in the soffits would quit using this vent to drain their bath water ... I guess they just don’t understand ice dams.

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Grow your own hardware cloth

Grow your own hardware cloth

Courtesy of Structure Tech

Keeping rodents out of your chimney is important. But there are actually store-bought solutions for adding chimney caps that work better.

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Water runs uphill right?

Water runs uphill right?

Courtesy of Structure Tech

If so the shingles are upside down. Gutters and downspouts are generally at the bottom of eaves.

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Brokeback roof

Brokeback roof

Some people should skip the hand-framing and stick with roof trusses. That way you don't need to be a skilled carpenter.

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Larry, Curly and Moe

Larry, Curly and Moe

Courtesy of Structure Tech

Apparently, there was one shingle from the old roof that just had some sentimental value. But eventually, he'll have to give up on sentiments and replace the shingle.

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Helpful signage

Helpful signage

Courtesy of Structure Tech

I know every time I want to start a fire in the fireplace, I check the chimney cap to see if it's OK. Maybe the flue should get inspected.

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Patchwork quilt for houses

Patchwork quilt for houses

Courtesy of Structure Tech

Maybe the shingles spell out a cry for help to passing airplanes? I think this fella is just collecting all the leftover shingles from his roofing contractor buddies. Perhaps it's time for a roof tearoff.

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Getting set up for a green roof?

Getting set up for a green roof?

More likely this is to keep the roof from burning in a wildfire. Guess it would be better than nothing. This is one way to prevent house fires. Photo: Courtesy of Structure Tech

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Is this foam the fireproof kind?

Is this foam the fireproof kind?

Photo: Courtesy of Structure Tech

Perhaps this was supposed to be for plugging leaks around the flue. Recapping the chimney the proper way might be a better strategy.

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Hubcap Flue Cap

Hubcap Flue Cap

Well that's one way to keep the rain away from your furnace. But there are official rain caps that you can buy at the home center. Photo: Courtesy of Structure Tech

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Architectural detailing for the ages

Architectural detailing for the ages

Here's proof. The cool thing about installing shingles is that any dummy can do it! But, there is a right way to do it!

Photo: Courtesy of Structure Tech

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Dual exhaust downspouts

Dual exhaust downspouts

This is another case of "PP" (pretty poor) planning. The garage furnace flue was cut in before figuring out clearance issues with the gutters. But aren't those downspouts perfect? Photo: Courtesy of Structure Tech

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Larry Bird's boyhood home

Larry Bird's boyhood home

After bouncing the basketball off the roof for five years, I guess mom and dad finally agreed to get junior a backboard. Time to re-shingle this roof!

Photo: Courtesy of Structure Tech

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Bad Roof Design

Hmm, hope the gutters work. Maybe who ever constructed this roof tried making some kind of artistic architectural statement. What’s sure is that a roof slanted towards a vertical wall will never work no matter how creative you get with a gutter system. Make cleaning your gutters a lot easier with these 25 gutter hints.

Photo: Via Structure Tech

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Beam Through Chimney

Yup, that’s a beam going right through a chimney. We’re guessing/hoping the chimney isn’t in use anymore. You’d never find something like this inside the most expensive home in your state.

Photo: Via Structure Tech

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Dryer Duct Gutter

Who are they fooling with this fix? It’s admirable that they went to the trouble of painting a dryer vent the same color as the other gutters but you have to figure someone would see it. It is an unusual spot in the roof but this cheap fix isn’t the right solution. Maybe they ran out of gutters when they repurposed them into planters like this.

Photo: Via Structure Tech

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Hey Mon

Maybe this is the start of a new “Kilroy Was Here” tag.

Photo: Via Structure Tech

Originally Published: December 06, 2018