A Quick Shower
A few years ago, my father was remodeling the downstairs bathroom. To make the connection to the waste pipe, he had to cut it open at about eye level. He then announced that no one should use the bathroom upstairs until he finished connecting the waste pipes.
After a bit, he heard the unmistakable sound of a toilet flushing. Before he could finish yelling my sister's name, a flood of water and solid waste hit his face. My sister's plea of forgiveness went unheard as he wiped himself off with a rag. He couldn't wash up right away because he had the water lines disconnected too. Like a dedicated do-it-yourselfer, he finished the job, then went straight to the shower!